This Dream Is Exclusive

Though out of no fault nor vanity on my part. Yesterday at church, Shellie Baird, the girl down the street asked if I missed Provo. To that I responded "No." Then about twenty minutes into sacrament meeting, I realized I was a filthy liar, unashamed and untouched by social desirability. Because as I sat there in the chapel sitting amidst these people, I decided that they were sucking the hope out of me. I started seeing visions of myself in five years in that same building getting up to bear my testimony and thanking everyone in the ward for being such a support. I almost threw up. I actually had to excuse myself to the bathroom before the dry-heaving stopped. When, I felt myself again I went back into the chapel and sat down again.

Every time someone opened their mouth, I was given another reason to feel like I wouldn't fit in. In Provo, its really easy to find people that you can relate to and share a sense of humor with. The Beaverton/Cedar-Mills singles ward is not a place of that same persuasion. I really couldn't see myself hanging out with anyone in the group. Even at the break the fast, where I actually got to meet some people and get past the first impression, I found out that sometimes the first impressions are true.

Also, during Sunday school, I accidentally said something funny loud. I was really trying to keep myself behind my glasses (@even stock) but it was hard with whatever comment I wanted to make. So, I said something like I normally do in classes or church and everyone just looked at me like "Yeah?" I felt really lame. It should've at least gotten a few chuckles.

Plus, everyone is about 26, so that does not increase Pearson's R-squared at all. Substantive significance is doubtful.

Oh, the title. Yeah. Since I've been home, its been like a dream. A really uninteresting one because my mind is just taking me back to the places that I know the most. A dream where you're sleeping is really boring. This summer might just be a dream. Also, I'll try to meet people/make friends, but, really, what's the use? Then I recall the Singles ward. I better get married before Graduation, dillon, if not, I'm jacked.